11. Retrain the Tongue

A small change of words, a large change of heart. Epictetus retrains the tongue so the mind will follow.

Never say of anything, "I have lost it."

Say instead, "I have given it back."

Is your child dead? The child was given back. Is your wife dead? She was given back. Has your property been taken away? That too was given back.

"The man who took it is a bad man."

What does it matter to you whose hand the giver uses to ask for it back?

While the gift is yours to have, take care of it. Take care of it, though, as you would take care of something that is not yours, the way a traveler cares for his room at an inn.

What this means. Everything you love was on loan. Change the words you use, and the loss stops feeling like a robbery.