Know Your Daimon: Reflection Prompts

These questions are for you. Not for a grade, not for a test. Just for thinking. Take one. Sit with it. There are no right answers.

1. Epictetus says some things are up to us and some are not. Make a list of three things that have been bothering you lately. For each one, ask honestly: is this actually up to me? What changes if you apply his rule to it?

2. Epictetus was born a slave and became one of the most respected philosophers in history. He believed his freedom was always inside him, regardless of his chains. What chains do you carry that are actually inside you, not outside?

3. Chapter 5 says: do not be proud of anything that is not your own. What are you proud of that does not actually belong to you? What are you proud of that genuinely does?

4. Epictetus says everything has two handles: one you can carry it by and one you cannot. Think of a difficult situation in your life right now. What is the handle you have been using? What is the other handle?

5. Discourse II.16 says that understanding a principle and acting on it are completely different things. Pick one idea from this book that you understood but have not acted on. What would acting on it look like tomorrow?

6. Epictetus says that when people do wrong, they do it because they think it is right for them. They are mistaken, not trying to hurt you. Think of someone who has hurt you. Does thinking of them as mistaken rather than cruel on purpose change anything for you?

7. Chapter 21 says: keep death in mind every day. Not to be depressing, but so you never take anything for granted and never want anything too desperately. What would today look like if you kept that in mind?

8. The Enchiridion ends with three questions to ask before every action: Is this up to me? What does my role require? What will I think of this later? Take a decision you are facing right now and put it through those three questions. What do you find?

9. Chapter 11 says: never say "I have lost it," say "I have returned it." Think of something or someone you have lost. What changes if you reframe that loss as a return?

10. Epictetus says the price of peace of mind is not being upset by things that are not up to you. What have you been upset about recently that was not actually up to you? What would it cost to let it go?

11. Chapter 17 says you are an actor in a play and someone else chose the role. Your only job is to play the role well. What role were you given that you did not choose? How well are you playing it?

12. Chapter 43 says everything has two handles, one you can carry it by and one you cannot. Pick one conflict you are in right now. What is the handle that makes it carryable?

13. Discourse I.18 says people who do wrong are mistaken, not cruel on purpose. Is there someone in your life you have been treating as cruel when they might just be mistaken? What does that change?

14. Epictetus was born a slave and said his freedom was always inside him. What external thing have you been telling yourself you need before you can really be free? Is that true?

15. Chapter 46 says: do not call yourself a philosopher. Act like one. In what part of your life are you most tempted to talk about what you believe instead of living it?

16. One final practice, drawn from Epictetus's broader teaching. Keep these three questions ready in any moment of strong impulse. First: is this something up to me or not up to me? If it is not up to me, say to yourself: this is nothing to me. Second: what does my role require here? Not what my desire requires. My role. Third: what would I think of this later? Not in the moment of wanting it, but after. If you practice these three questions, they will become second nature. You will find yourself catching impulses before they carry you away. The goal is not to suppress your feelings. It is to stop your feelings from making your decisions for you.

Write. Talk about these with someone you trust. Come back to them in a year.